I'm reading The Help right now and am enjoying it, though I haven't had time to get very far yet. It's about the Black maids in the 1960's in Mississippi. The first character they introduce, Aibilene, is basically raising the daughter of the family she's working for. She gives her all the love and care the mother doesn't/refuses to give. In the part I read last night Aibilene realizes that the daughter will grow up to be just like her mother in spite of all the loving Aibilene gives her. It's sad, but true.

Parental influence is so powerful, but for some reason we think we're powerless. It's a bad irony because power unused is power abused. If the parents don't use their parental power to teach and influence, the child will take the power and the family becomes dysfunctional.

The mother (Miss Leefolt) in the book is not a sympathetic character, but with the perspective of the daughter becoming just like the mother, they both become tragic characters perpetuating the things they were taught as children--emotional claustrophobia being one of those things. Sometimes I wish I could help everyone learn to relate on a feeling level. But then I realize there is so much more I need to learn about that myself.